mood swing.

i found a new hobby.
biking.
i cannot tell you how exhilarating it was. riding down the hills, wind in my hair, sun on my face, cardigan flapping in the breeze.
sooo nice.
i loved it.
i feel like everything is beautiful.
i'm so content with the world.
yes, biking is my new best friend.

closure.

this is real.
it happened.
i'm coping.
i know where he is.
i know what he's doing.
it's alright.
i'll see him soon.

i love you, Grandpa.

if wishes were fishes...

i wish i had a shiny new beach cruiser.

this would be an adventure-seeking beach cruiser.

it would take me away.

far away.

to Wonderland.

where nothing is real.

where nothing hurts.

where bad things don't happen.

i need that magic beach cruiser.

now.

happy bee day :)

i bet you didn't know that today, is a national holiday.
well, i've got news for you... it is.
what could this holiday be?

IT'S MELISSA'S BIRTHDAY!!

therefore, i find it only fitting that today's post is dedicated to the wonderful Melissa Findeis.
i love Melissa so much! she is always there for me through thick and thin. she has stuck with me for 5 years! now, that's friendship. over those 5 years we've been in some pretty interesting situations. we've laughed a lot, cried a lot, and had a ton of fun times. i honestly believe that melissa is one of the reasons i've survived the past 5 years., i needed her sarcasm, her love, and her humor.

to melissa:

"cool beans, grandma!"

"what the heck?!"

"tell me when it starts to burn..."

"do you like eat chocolate for like a hobby?"

"we could go tag stop signs with crap?" "literally."

"PERCH!"

i love you, melissa! i hope you laughed at least once reading those inside jokes! i really do thank you for all that you've done for me and everytime you've been there when i'm not strong enough. you are a wonderful friend.

love you always,

madisonbeck

death and all his friends...

this past couple of weeks has been extremely emotionally exhausting. losing a friend, nearly losing another, and of course, death of a dearly loved one. i think if i cry one more time my head will spontaneously combust.

today was definitely one of those days:

a rough one.

trials can make or break you. i like the "make" option. it doesn't make sense to me to let one little thing get you down and out. why not let it be to your benefit? i know that all of our trials are there for a reason. to help us grow. to help us learn. they are crucial to our growth in this life. they make us who we are, build our testimonies, and they make us better people.

i feel the need to express my undying love for those people who are there for me on a day to day basis and don't run away when things get hard. i love you so much and i thank you for your kindness. thank you for lending a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold. friends. family. i love you all. thank you for your support. you guys keep me going.


Madison Beck

kuhreep

life's a buttload easier when you're the stalkee instead of the stalker.

that is all.

holy moley. me? oh my...

reflecting.
thinking.
here it goes...

emotions = mixed.beaten...puree-d?
pretty much all of the options you can find on a blender...
it's like the little Roxyberry in my head went crazy and threw in bits of happiness and life-is-not-all-bad and then thought they'd add a little sadness and why-is-this-happening-to-me for flavor.

bittersweet. or should i say sweetbitter...

today started out alright and then, like a bird seeking warmth, it went south. bookin it like there was no tomorrow. but i suppose that is life. we've gotta push the negative aside, smile, and hope for a better tomorrow.

it just seems like there's not a soul in this world that isn't just looking for personal gain. people may claim that they are completely self-less, gracious, giving, and thoughtful. but the truth is, that most people are jerks. i have found myself involved in this. someone will text or call you and the first thing in your head is "oh crap! think of an excuse... think of an excuse...". i got a taste of my own medicine today. it hurts. knowing when someone makes excuses or picks others over you. if we ever once sat down and thought about how we make others feel instead of what our friends are doing and what hot boy is going to be there, we would probably think and act differently. and that's what i'm going to do. think and act differently.

also, of equal importance...

i want to know who the jerk is that invented "normal". i bet you i could find a few weird things about him. in fact, he's probably nothing but a sack full o' weird and we're all just falling into his trap.

that is all.