if wishes were fishes...

i wish i had a shiny new beach cruiser.

this would be an adventure-seeking beach cruiser.

it would take me away.

far away.

to Wonderland.

where nothing is real.

where nothing hurts.

where bad things don't happen.

i need that magic beach cruiser.

now.

happy bee day :)

i bet you didn't know that today, is a national holiday.
well, i've got news for you... it is.
what could this holiday be?

IT'S MELISSA'S BIRTHDAY!!

therefore, i find it only fitting that today's post is dedicated to the wonderful Melissa Findeis.
i love Melissa so much! she is always there for me through thick and thin. she has stuck with me for 5 years! now, that's friendship. over those 5 years we've been in some pretty interesting situations. we've laughed a lot, cried a lot, and had a ton of fun times. i honestly believe that melissa is one of the reasons i've survived the past 5 years., i needed her sarcasm, her love, and her humor.

to melissa:

"cool beans, grandma!"

"what the heck?!"

"tell me when it starts to burn..."

"do you like eat chocolate for like a hobby?"

"we could go tag stop signs with crap?" "literally."

"PERCH!"

i love you, melissa! i hope you laughed at least once reading those inside jokes! i really do thank you for all that you've done for me and everytime you've been there when i'm not strong enough. you are a wonderful friend.

love you always,

madisonbeck

death and all his friends...

this past couple of weeks has been extremely emotionally exhausting. losing a friend, nearly losing another, and of course, death of a dearly loved one. i think if i cry one more time my head will spontaneously combust.

today was definitely one of those days:

a rough one.

trials can make or break you. i like the "make" option. it doesn't make sense to me to let one little thing get you down and out. why not let it be to your benefit? i know that all of our trials are there for a reason. to help us grow. to help us learn. they are crucial to our growth in this life. they make us who we are, build our testimonies, and they make us better people.

i feel the need to express my undying love for those people who are there for me on a day to day basis and don't run away when things get hard. i love you so much and i thank you for your kindness. thank you for lending a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold. friends. family. i love you all. thank you for your support. you guys keep me going.


Madison Beck

kuhreep

life's a buttload easier when you're the stalkee instead of the stalker.

that is all.

holy moley. me? oh my...

reflecting.
thinking.
here it goes...

emotions = mixed.beaten...puree-d?
pretty much all of the options you can find on a blender...
it's like the little Roxyberry in my head went crazy and threw in bits of happiness and life-is-not-all-bad and then thought they'd add a little sadness and why-is-this-happening-to-me for flavor.

bittersweet. or should i say sweetbitter...

today started out alright and then, like a bird seeking warmth, it went south. bookin it like there was no tomorrow. but i suppose that is life. we've gotta push the negative aside, smile, and hope for a better tomorrow.

it just seems like there's not a soul in this world that isn't just looking for personal gain. people may claim that they are completely self-less, gracious, giving, and thoughtful. but the truth is, that most people are jerks. i have found myself involved in this. someone will text or call you and the first thing in your head is "oh crap! think of an excuse... think of an excuse...". i got a taste of my own medicine today. it hurts. knowing when someone makes excuses or picks others over you. if we ever once sat down and thought about how we make others feel instead of what our friends are doing and what hot boy is going to be there, we would probably think and act differently. and that's what i'm going to do. think and act differently.

also, of equal importance...

i want to know who the jerk is that invented "normal". i bet you i could find a few weird things about him. in fact, he's probably nothing but a sack full o' weird and we're all just falling into his trap.

that is all.

i thunk a thought

today, a very rare and marvelous event occurred in my moderately boring life! i thunk a thought! a most wondrous thought. and this thought lead to other thoughts which had my brain spinning so fast i have a bit of motion sickness.

what was this thought, you might ask? do not fret, my dear, i will enlighten you.

i was sitting on my average sized bed in my average sized home in an average sized town listening to my ipod and pondering my somewhat boring life. as i lay there, a web of thought began to spin itself. i thought about all of those people in Haiti and all that they have suffered through in the past week. i thought about how sad it was that most of them are homeless and starving. and there i sat in my warm house, on my super comfy bed, listening to my ipod. it was then that i realized for the millionth time that i had forgotten how lucky i am.

i think so often i take for granted all that i have been given. the things i have. the things i wish i had. they don't matter. instead of being grateful for the working bodies and minds that we have, we compare ourselves to others and tear ourselves or each other down until there's nothing left and we feel small and insignificant. everyone is important to someone. everyone is needed. wanted. the people who think you're "weird" or whatever don't even matter. just remember that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. and.... sticks and stones can break your bones, but words will never hurt you.

then my web of thought turned towards the labels we all give each other. most, if not all of them, have negative connotations. as i walked around the halls of school yesterday, i looked at everyone and tried not to see their stereotype. i tried to see them. it was difficult to get past my previous judgements and just see the person behind the make-up or the hair or the ridiculous outfits to see the person inside. you'd be surprised at how many amazing people are out there if you'd only give them a chance. i have been guilty of passing judgements too quickly several times in my life. i only hope that i can become better at loving people for who they are.

so lets all be awesome to one another....

and that... is the cheesy thought of the day.

me loves...

this is not to be confused with the popular sean kingston song. if you don't know who sean kingston is, lucky you.
but all of that is besides the point.
let's get down to business...

MEN.

love them or hate them, you cannot help but be attracted to them.
here's a little list i put together of the top 10 males i cannot help but be attracted to (in no particular order):

Zac Efron.

admit it, you almost died when you saw him in the first high school musical and he made your heart go pitter patter. then when 17 again came out. i nearly died. i think i had a panic attack and stopped breathing. you go zac, you go.

Johnny Depp.

oh johnny... this man is a dream. he is an amazing actor and can be anyone with any personality. he's so talented and his face is great too. double whammy! cha-ching!

Ben Affleck.

he's just nice to look at.

Chace Crawford.

never actually watched anything with this man in it. so i cannot tell you about his acting skills. but i can tell you that he is nice looking and that he was the bachelor of the year for 2009 in People Magazine. mmmhmmm...

Elvis Presley.

ohhh this man. Elvis Presley. his music. his voice. his smile. his dancing. how i wish i would have been alive during his time!

Tim McGraw.

dearest timmy. i grew up listening to this man on the radio in my sisters cars and just around the house. love his music and his voice. he is also a really great guy. now that's quality.

Nate Ruess.

this man also sings. the best songs in the world! lead singer of fun and the format, two of my favorite bands. it might be his voice that makes me so attracted to him, but nevertheless, he is attractive.

Ryan Gosling.

i first saw this man in the movie Remember the Titans. he was not so great looking in the movie. kinda awkward and just weird. then The Notebook comes out and he has the cutest lines ever and i just fell in love. "When I see something I like I gotta have it." "if you're a bird, i'm a bird" instant love!

George Clooney.

given. :)

Brad Pitt.

always loved this man. his movies are great and he's got some nice abs.